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I agree with his comments. It is quite srx to get this urge later in life, not so common to be honest and open about it to your SO. Kudos to you for being honest with your wife.
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It is all new to. Of course she is hurt, confused and angry.
But if you her, and she loves you, you two well come to an understanding that allows you to be who you are without divorce.
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YMMV Aren't you still the same guy she has loved these 14 years? You just have a new facet. Do expect it to take some time for her to get over the pain and anger, as she adjusts to a new view of you.
We have had this request here before, so you find it useful to read these threads: Yes, both individual and couples therapy is probably a good idea. No, it won't make your urges go away. You also me.
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